There, There...

 

 

 

 

Three years ago my buddy CJ suggested that I read the book The Four Agreements, a few months ago while reading Oprah's book What I Know For Sure she references The Four Agreements, then this past December while in Thailand my friend Kim said "have you ever read The Four Agreements?" I was like, dang, if one more person brings up The Four Agreements, I'm going to go mental. As soon as I got home from Thailand, I went to my massive pile of unread books and found the copy that I had initially purchased at Cj's suggestion.

 

I'll be honest, it wasn't my writing style preference.  The flow left me frustrated. Some statements were like whaaa the what, huh? BUT, the message was powerful and I can see why people say that this book is a life game changer. All four agreements I fundamentally agree with, but the one that always consumes the majority of my headspace is agreement #2 which simply states "don't take anything personally". Easily said. Very often encouraged. Difficult to master.

 

Fast forward to yesterday. I had one incredible two hour Face time conversation with my friend and one brief conversation with someone very close to me. Both conversations were very different in nature, but both hurts had to deal with someone very close in their lives that weren't present at key moments in their lives. Both loves were on the verge of tears by the way they had been hurt by someone's inability to see the obvious need to be present.

 

It made me think back to agreement #2, don't take anything personal. What? Someone significantly hurt someone that I care about and that's the advise I'm going to blanketly offer, don't take it personal?

 

This blog could get lengthy so I'm going to keep it to brief nuggets. Nugget #1: Why focus on the one or two people that suck as opposed to the five to ten people in your life that are awesome, or present or always there? Nugget #2 is introspective: Am I a sucky person? Am I careless with people because I can't always keep dates, remember birthdays, attend weddings, or buy shower gifts? Am I haphazard with people's feelings because sometimes I'm too busy, pinching pennies or selfish? Nugget #3: Being THERE will always speak volumes of love. THERE might be in the stands at a football game. THERE may be a baby shower.  THERE may be home right after work. THERE may be a girl's weekend trip. THERE may be at the table helping with homework. THERE may be turning in a project by the deadline. THERE may just be keeping an appointment on time. THERE may be at a hospital bedside.

 

We all know the THERES that we suck at. Let's be more aware to not take anything personally and to be present in someone's life.

 

 

 

 

Song of the Day:

Alabama Shakes - Gimme Me All Your Love

 

 

 

 

 

Are You Lion To Me?

 

 

My friend Joy is probably the biggest hustler I know. She's always working and even when she's not working, somehow she's still working. Her talent and hustle has landed her work in Rolling Stone Magazine, The Washington Post and many other brag worthy editorials.

 

 I noticed on her phone a powerful quote that is a reminder to not be concerned about surrounding noise, the naysayers and straight up haters. "Lions do not lose sleep over the opinions of sheep."

 

Despite her killin' it in the photography world and sitting pretty as one of DC's most sought after photographers, there's moments (just little moments) where she needs encouragement to not care about what others think or say.

 

 

Song of the Day:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Consumer Warning

After three long years of dreaming, saving, researching and house hunting, my fearless friend bought her first place in Miami! I've heard the painful details and drama that have come along with buying her first home. Sheesh, it's been quite a journey! But as long as the path took, I've heard more stories about the shortcomings along the way then the success (and happiness) of having a beach property in sunny Miami.

She, just like me and probably just like you love to dwell on the exhausting journey instead of basking in the sunlight of a mountaintop life moment.

It's like my trip to Machu Picchu. I had the desire, then came the savings, then the planning, asking off of work, the flights, the train ride to Aguas Calientes, the drive, the hike and then the view. Once I snagged my iconic picture I was like...check. Did it. Done. Next?

What the hell, Veronica? I just experienced a breathtaking view that many people will never see firsthand in their lifetime. I just stood on sacred ground that Inca Indians inhabited centuries ago. I just took in a view where the clouds are at my fingertips and I'm going to walk away like.....yep?!?

Stand there (wherever there is). Inhale. Exhale. Hell, journal the struggle but more importantly journal the feeling of accomplishment. Don't just consume and move onto the next. In the long run quickly moving on brings discontentment, robs you of your joy and devalues the accomplishment.

Same with you. You spent one year restricting your eating, consistently going to the gym and dropped 30 pounds? Share that before and after -ish on Facebook! You paid off our car? Share your proud moment with a close friend. I'm not saying brag for brag sake, I'm saying that we will share our whoa-is-me moments for hours on end, drain the life out of friends until they're the Walking Dead, but we can't elaborate on what's going right?

I know that's not everyone's style, but here's my question: how long do you discuss the wrongs vs discuss the rights? (in a relationship, job, fitness, business, ect) How quickly do you consume the moment instead of enjoying it like an amazing bottle of Malbec accompanied by a hefty plate of charcuterie and cheese?

I'm just saying. Enjoy the moment.

 

 

 

Song of the Day:
The Chainsmokers - Let You Go

Sweatpants Syndrome

 

You know that feeling you get after eating far too much turkey, stuffing and fixings on Thanksgiving? It's that moment before you slip into a deep food coma....that moment where you put on your comfy sweatpants and melt into the couch. It's a deep coma state where the sedatives in the mac n' cheese have slipped into your blood stream and you are knocked out cold.

 

I think it's pretty standard that a majority of people slip into some state of Sweatpants Syndrome in life. The turkey was good, the couch looks nice, the tv is on...why not grab the sweatpants, pass out and call it Thanksgiving?  I mean, your job is good, your body is fine (and I don't mean like Martin..damn Gina you fiiiiiine), my marriage is still on....why not grab a cup of coffee with the rest of the folks and call it a life?

 

Let me drop a knowledge bomb on you that you already know. The sea will never part for you, Moses. Conditions will never be perfect. Life will always be mediocre if you shift into neutral and rock the sweatpants. Get fancy. Get ballsy. Get fit. Start saving. Apply for a new job. Chase that dream. Do your research. Be a creator not an over consumer. Live, don't just exist.

 

My incredible friend Joy shared an article with me awhile back that loves to smack me upside the head now and again. I suggest reading the whole thing, but I'm going to give you the juicy portion that keeps me inspired. It's by James Clear titled "Successful People Start Before They Feel Ready" and this portion is a story by Sir Richard Branson:

 

"I was in my late twenties, so I had a business, but nobody knew who I was at the time. I was headed to the Virgin Islands and I had a very pretty girl waiting for me, so I guess, umm, determined to get there on time.

 

At the airport, my final flight to the Virgin Islands was cancelled because of maintenance or something. It was the last flight out that night. I thought this was ridiculous, so I went and chartered a private airplane to take me to the Virgin Islands, which I did not have the money to do.

 

Then, I picked up a small blackboard, wrote "Virgin Airlines, $29" on it, and went over to the group of people who had been on the flight that was cancelled. I sold tickets for the rest of the seats on the plane, used their money to pay for the chartered plane, and we all went to the Virgin Islands that night."

 

The article is powerful and one snippet that I love by James Clear is that he follows up Sir Branson's statement with "successful people start before they feel ready"

 

Sweatpants are comfy, but they shouldn't be your everyday look. Life is too beautiful to be mediocre.

 

 

Song of the Day

(mom don't watch this)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Minute Man

 

I've got this incredible friend that consistently sends me positive quotes first thing in the morning. It's nice to wake up, look at my phone and see some inspiration from someone who is thinking about me. This little gesture that probably took less than a minute to send, always brings me a smile and definitely starts my day off on the right foot.

 

Don't get me wrong, being lavished with time and energy is amazing for the soul, but sometimes I think we go too long with no little reminders and try to "make up for it" with over the top statements of friendship or love. A simple card, sweet text message, a phone call, grabbing their favorite snack, a compliment or a cup of coffee can make someone's day a lot brighter.

 

 

Song of the Day:

Missy Elliott - Minute Man