Three years ago my buddy CJ suggested that I read the book The Four Agreements, a few months ago while reading Oprah's book What I Know For Sure she references The Four Agreements, then this past December while in Thailand my friend Kim said "have you ever read The Four Agreements?" I was like, dang, if one more person brings up The Four Agreements, I'm going to go mental. As soon as I got home from Thailand, I went to my massive pile of unread books and found the copy that I had initially purchased at Cj's suggestion.
I'll be honest, it wasn't my writing style preference. The flow left me frustrated. Some statements were like whaaa the what, huh? BUT, the message was powerful and I can see why people say that this book is a life game changer. All four agreements I fundamentally agree with, but the one that always consumes the majority of my headspace is agreement #2 which simply states "don't take anything personally". Easily said. Very often encouraged. Difficult to master.
Fast forward to yesterday. I had one incredible two hour Face time conversation with my friend and one brief conversation with someone very close to me. Both conversations were very different in nature, but both hurts had to deal with someone very close in their lives that weren't present at key moments in their lives. Both loves were on the verge of tears by the way they had been hurt by someone's inability to see the obvious need to be present.
It made me think back to agreement #2, don't take anything personal. What? Someone significantly hurt someone that I care about and that's the advise I'm going to blanketly offer, don't take it personal?
This blog could get lengthy so I'm going to keep it to brief nuggets. Nugget #1: Why focus on the one or two people that suck as opposed to the five to ten people in your life that are awesome, or present or always there? Nugget #2 is introspective: Am I a sucky person? Am I careless with people because I can't always keep dates, remember birthdays, attend weddings, or buy shower gifts? Am I haphazard with people's feelings because sometimes I'm too busy, pinching pennies or selfish? Nugget #3: Being THERE will always speak volumes of love. THERE might be in the stands at a football game. THERE may be a baby shower. THERE may be home right after work. THERE may be a girl's weekend trip. THERE may be at the table helping with homework. THERE may be turning in a project by the deadline. THERE may just be keeping an appointment on time. THERE may be at a hospital bedside.
We all know the THERES that we suck at. Let's be more aware to not take anything personally and to be present in someone's life.
Song of the Day:
Alabama Shakes - Gimme Me All Your Love
Did I tell you how much I love when you blog? Seriously, I have read them every day since you started again and I'm definitely encouraged by your words. This book may have to be a spring break read for me. Thank you for writing!
ReplyDeleteGirl, I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me that you actually read my blog. Leaving a comment just made my day!
DeleteI've thought listing books that I'd recommend to read and this would probably be the order:
1. Motivation Manifesto
2. The Four Agreements
3. Oprah's - What I Know For Sure
4. The Alchemist
The Four Agreements is absolutely powerful, but this would be the order I'd suggest to read it in. Eek! Do you have any good reads you'd suggest?
I loved the Alchemist. Reading is not something I really enjoy, but do make myself do. I read mostly non-fiction. Lately, I read The Bait of Satan, talks all about how we harbor offense and it was so good, because everyone does it and it really determines how happy we are based on our own decisions. Has nothing to actually do with what others do, but how we react to what they do.
DeletePS..I actually have a Paulo Coehlo quote tattooed on my leg. "Be Brave. Take Risks. Nothing can substitute experience." Loved it so much, declared it over myself.
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